GBbridge 918x177.jpg

A Statement of Belief regarding Divorce

and Remarriage

 

As the elders of Life Bridge Christian Church we believe that divorce is something that should not even be considered in the lives of a couple committed to Jesus Christ. In a marriage between two disciples, there exists a covenant that will always provide for repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Therefore, our goal as a church is not only to help people have better marriages, but to help people develop into the image of Christ. If we are successful in discipleship, divorce will be non-existent in the church. However, we do realize that not every believer is in a relationship with another disciple or they were divorced before understanding God’s true plan for marriage. Because of the amount of divorce that has taken place both in the church and the world, we realize that there is a need for a clear understanding of what the Bible says regarding not only divorce, but also remarriage after divorce. This document is an explanation of what we interpret the Bible to say regarding these issues. This statement of belief has been a result of many years of prayer and study, and we hope it helps you understand this controversial topic. The following bullet points are a brief summary of our findings.

 

  • God’s original plan was for marriage to be a covenant that could only be broken by death.(Matthew 19:4 – 6; 1 Corinthians 7:39)
  • God did allow divorce in the Old Testament, but only because of the hardness of man’s heart. (Matthew 19:8)
  • When Jesus was asked under what circumstances divorce could be considered, He restated that God never intended for any divorce, but did say that the only acceptable reason was for sexual immorality (adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, etc.). (Matthew 5:32; 19:9)
  • In the book of 1 Corinthians, the apostle Paul expands on the teaching of Jesus and gives another possibility which could break the marriage covenant – if a non-believing spouse files for divorce and wishes to end the marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:15)
  • Based on the above scripture references, there appears to be only three things that could break a marriage covenant and free someone to remarry:

                     1. Sexual immorality (adultery, homosexuality, fornication, etc.) (Matthew 19)
                     2. Death (1Corinthians 7:39)
                     3. If a non-believing spouse files for divorce and wishes to end the marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15)

  • If a disciple of Jesus Christ would get a divorce for any other reason than those listed above, they should remain single or reconcile with their spouse. (1 Corinthians 7:10)
  • If someone comes into a relationship with God through Christ after they are divorced for reasons other than those listed above, we believe they should take the following steps before remarriage would be considered:

                    1. Understand that their divorce was wrong in the eyes of God, repent of that sin, and seek His forgiveness.
                    2. Undergo counseling to help them understand what part they played in their divorce, so any attitudes or
                        behaviors that led to the failure of the previous marriage will not be taken into a new relationship.
                    3. Seek forgiveness from their former spouse for their part in the breakdown of the relationship.
                    4. Forgive their former spouse for anything that was done or said by them.
                    5. If possible, seek reconciliation with their former spouse.
                    6. Spend time seeking God’s will for their life, and remain single, if possible.
                    7. If the person and their spiritual leaders feel that a sincere effort has been made to reconcile their previous
                        marriage and due to the unresponsiveness of the former spouse it cannot happen, only then do we feel
                        that they are free for remarriage and could proceed though premarital counseling and remarriage.

 

God’s Original Plan


We see throughout the Bible that God’s original plan for marriage was that a man and woman would join together and make a marriage covenant with each other for the rest of their lives. If either of the couple would die, the bond of that covenant would be broken and they would be free to remarry. The question that has been debated throughout the history of the church still exists today is, can the covenant of marriage be broken in any way except by death? We believe that God’s desire was, and still is, that the marriage covenant stay intact until death (Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:39).

 


Moses Eventually Allowed For Divorce


Even though it is clear that God never intended for divorce - in fact He says He hates it - we see in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 and Matthew 19:8 that due to the hardness of man’s heart, Moses did allow for divorce and remarriage in Israel.

 


Jesus’ Teaching on Divorce


During the time of Jesus, the Jews all understood that divorce and remarriage was a possible end to their marriage relationship, although there was a debate surrounding what was a valid reason for divorce. One side argued that a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason and others believed that only if the partner had been sexually unfaithful were there grounds for divorce. In Matthew 19, we see the Pharisees trying to get Jesus to state His opinion regarding this hotly debated issue. In these verses, we hear Jesus saying that God’s original intent was for no divorce, but, as we stated earlier, He allowed it to take place because of the hardness of man’s heart. However, He then goes on to say that the only valid reason for a divorce would be fornication. The Greek word used here, which is translated fornication, is “porneia”. This word refers to any type of sexual sin. So based on what Jesus said, the only valid reason for divorce that would free a person for remarriage would be on the grounds of sexual sin. Outside of this single exception, Jesus said if a person divorced and had a sexual relationship with someone else, they would be committing adultery. This would seem to indicate that He meant that their original marriage was still valid, because adultery can only happen if you are married.

 


Paul’s Teaching on Divorce


In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul warned the Corinthian Christians that they should not get divorced, but, if they did, they should be reconciled to their spouse or remain single. Obviously, Paul knew the Jewish tradition and the teaching of Jesus regarding divorce. So why would Paul contradict Jesus and say that remarriage was never possible for a Christian? In order to understand this more clearly, we must understand the context in which this verse was written. Paul was writing to the Corinthian church, and he was answering specific questions that they had posed to him in a previous letter. In his response, he most likely was referring to the Greek understanding on what were grounds for divorce and that there was an epidemic of divorce in that culture. The Greek grounds for divorce were just as lenient, if not more so, as the permissive Jewish view. Based on these conditions, we believe that what Paul is saying here is just an extension of Jesus’ teaching. If, as a Christian you get divorced for any reason other than porneia (fornication), you must reconcile or remain single.


Many would argue, as well, that in Romans 7 Paul uses the illustration that someone is bound in marriage until death. Again, we must be careful not to take scripture out of the context in which it was originally written. We cannot take an illustration used to describe how people were bound to the law as a doctrine regarding marriage, especially in light of the teaching of Jesus in Matthew 5 and 19. Paul was using this as a teaching on the law, not as a teaching on marriage. However, it does clarify that death of a spouse releases one from the covenant of marriage.

 

In Corinthians 7, Paul also tells Christians that if they have an unbeliever for a spouse and their spouse divorces them, then they are no longer bound to that marriage covenant. In other words, don’t contest a divorce from a non-believer and make it difficult for them to leave. He reminds them that they were called to live in peace. However, Paul also says that if you have an unbelieving spouse and they wish to stay in the marriage, you must let them stay and not initiate a divorce. He is not permitting Christians to seek a divorce just because their spouse is not a believer. Again, the only exception would be based on the teaching of Jesus. If someone has a spouse that is living a lifestyle of sexual sin and is non-repentant, the Christian does have the right to seek a divorce. Although, just because God has allowed for divorce under certain circumstances, we still believe that the ultimate goal should always be reconciliation.

 


So, Where Does That Leave us Today?


We believe that God still hates divorce as He indicated in Malachi 2:13-16, and that it does not fit into His perfect will for His people. However, just as God understood the hardness of man’s heart, we also realize that divorce will take place because of the sin in the world. The marriage covenant is made for life, and from what we can determine it can only be broken by death, fornication, or if a non-believer wants to leave a believer. In all other situations, if a Christian divorces their spouse, their marriage covenant is still valid, and they should be reconciled to their spouse or remain single just as Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 7. In the case of abuse of the spouse or children, we believe that the person should remove themselves from the home and seek a legal separation and restraining order for protection. During this time of separation, all efforts should be made for reconciliation.


We believe that only God’s people can be held accountable to His Word. Many, because of ignorance, act outside of His will and get divorced for reasons other than fornication by their spouse. They may even be the one who was involved in fornication that was the reason for the breakup of their first marriage. If their divorce took place before having a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, they may be free to remarry. Through the grace of God, we have seen Him take people from divorced situations, bless their second marriage, and use them in ministry. We are convinced, however, that this can only take place if there is true repentance. First, they need to recognize their sin in getting a divorce and seek forgiveness from God, understanding they have violated God’s will for marriage. Secondly, they need to work through all the issues associated with the divorce, such as the issues in their life that contributed to the divorce. Thirdly, they must sincerely seek reconciliation with their former spouse. They need to forgive their former spouse and seek forgiveness from their former spouse. If their former spouse refuses to take them back or has remarried, they should make an effort to remain single and continue to pray for reconciliation. If singleness is something they cannot handle, then they could be free to remarry, but only after significant personal and pre-marital counseling.

 


Conclusion


As a Church leadership, we cannot take divorce and remarriage lightly, because God does not take it lightly. Although, just as God shows mercy and grace to us when we sin, we must also show mercy and grace to the casualties of Satan’s attack on marriage. We also believe that anyone who makes the claim to be a disciple of Jesus Christ has the responsibility to do everything in his or her power to uphold the marriage covenant they entered into. Because there are so many different circumstances that revolve around each separate divorce situation, we will look at each case of possible remarriage individually. We will never proceed with a remarriage until we are convinced that true repentance has taken place. Our ultimate goal in all of this is not to ensure that people are happy, but to help lead them into a closer relationship with God and understand God’s will for their life. We believe that this is the purpose to which God has called us as elders.